UPDATED APRIL 2014
There are many people who were strong advocates in this first fiction book project of mine. “Capturing Captain America” may have been a title I thought up myself but the story grew from a lot of inspiration derived from the many years that I’ve been a fan of popular TV dramas like: Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, Criminal Minds, Hawaii 5-0, and others in the genre.
On a personal note, I would like to give a very special thanks to Heather Strang, my book coach and midwife, whose debut novel “The Quest“, reignited my desire to write this fiction tale.Through Heather’s BodyTalk sessions and “Manifest Your Dream Life” online coaching series, I felt like I was given a fresh infusion of inspiration to finally give birth to this novel once and for all. Much love and special thanks as well to the other BodyTalk Goddess who are part of the trio of practitioners who have been a light on my writing path: Shelley Poovey and Lyn Delmastro.
There is also a special angel who deserves a special thank you in my dear friend Alison, who has been a stand for me to be published since the day we met in 2000. A former probation officer and correctional system “shrink”, Alison still holds the intention for me to meet my real true love, just like Heather as I pray for her motherhood dreams. Alison has been a wonderful resource in the research I needed to do to create the Ronan character.
A thank you too for Robyn Mason, an intimacy coach in the Bay Area, and Devi Ward the Tantrika Supreme, who suggested I inquire within on the role of mothers on their daughter’s sense of innate love-ability just as they are. Both asked me to take on being the compassionate mother to my little girl self whose emotions were running the show in my love life results.
During my childhood and teen years I never shared much what was going on with my parents thinking that I could handle it on my own. Being too much of a rugged individualist during the hormone laden teen years gave rise to a cluster of thoughts that were driven by youthful angst rather than wise adult compassion and a higher perspective.
One “breakthrough” conversation just before the first day of Spring on how mothers can influence how a daughter can develop an empowering belief system in the face of seemingly dis-empowering events during adolescence. Through that talk I traced the origins of how heartbreaks during my younger years could be revised as pivotal growth moments instead of “knocked down” incidents that had me question my right to be loved despite all my imperfections.
I’ve heard intimacy defined as “into-me-see” and critical times in my youth had caused me to conjure up “false evidence” that I didn’t deserve real love. Basically, I sentenced myself to not want to be seen because of my flaws. Captain America, the idea of him, was the perfect co-conspirator in attracting people who reinforced that belief to the point it seemed very real. After our breakthrough coaching talk I was committed to reshaping my perspective to one that attracted a collaborator to prove a new belief right ~ that I need to nothing to receive and experience genuine love.
Another kudo I would like to acknowledge for the book “May Cause Miracles” by Gabrielle Bernstein. It was Bernstein’s Medi-Dating CD and writings on special relationships were instrumental in supporting my release of a false love dream, my own Captain America.
When I was very young, and not much older than 16, a very famous psychic did predict that I’d end up with a soulmate whom she described as a hero law enforcement officer of some kind. Even though I never found the man my psychic called “Captain America“, I decided that my heroine would.
Letting go of an illusion that had served as my inspiration was a very new thing for me. Out of habit I had allowed a complete utter mirage to be a symbol of false hope to me. For quite some time, the thought of a Captain America out there who was supposedly “earmarked” for me, got me through many moments. The false belief that he was out there and would find me one day tricked my mind to keep me hopeful. I used the prediction in an unhealthy way to alleviate unhappy feelings and fears of being alone and ending up without a family in old age. Now, that reality has a chance to actually happen because the mirage is gone for good.
Joseph Campbell said that, “we must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” That is exactly what I’ve done. The real one could just be someone I never saw coming (like the John Mayer duet with Katy Perry below)
Like the lyrics in the song “Defying Gravity“:
Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s game